Wasted So Much Time. [20 Dec 2009|07:52pm] de9 I've come to realize tonight that I've wasted so much time on people. I'm working on a tutorial that some people are all "oh hey cool" while most of the population that watches me on dA couldn't give a shit less because it's not some famous anime character. I've had horrible luck in relationships. If I haven't been waiting around being patient with the one I'm with/ wanting to be with, then I have horrible timing or my life just doesn't permit it to be at that moment in time. I don't want any of this bullshit "It's not meant to be, it's fate" stuff. I'm tired of feeling disappointed by people. I'm throwing out 110% every damn day for everyone around me and I'm getting scraps back in return. Yes. I'm being selfish. Yes, I'm ticked off. I'm so... sick of it. Sick of being on bottom, of being used or mistreated. Sick of not being able to ascend out of this hellhole or this slump I'm in. I'm trying to help people, trying to care and love them and in the end I'm sitting here alone wondering what the hell happened. I'm tired of the unrequited feelings of everything. It all feels so... Fake. Like I'm living in a world with a bunch of mindless puppets around me. 1 comment|post comment

How To Start A Conversation 101: [16 Dec 2009|03:12pm] de9 The XIII HouR: Symm. [Symmasris]: Yep? [Symmasris]: Whats up Zaer? The XIII HouR: Symm. The XIII HouR: Tell me you are not getting a sex change. [Symmasris]: Sup? [Symmasris]: Ummm What? The XIII HouR: Tell it to me. :< [Symmasris]: Umm, Im definantly not getting a sex change. [Symmasris]: Why the fuck would I do that. [Symmasris]: ?????? The XIII HouR: Well. The XIII HouR: I left my windows for my IMs open last night. [Symmasris]: yeah [Symmasris]: ok? The XIII HouR: One with someone I love deeply who is going through a sex change, another with a friend, (Who I just found out their life partner is actually a girl getting a sex change) and you. [Symmasris]: O.o Im confused. The XIII HouR: XD Two out of three of my IM windows left open last night were two people having sex changes. The XIII HouR: You were the third. The XIII HouR: So I had to know. [Symmasris]: ahh [Symmasris]: ok then >.< The XIII HouR: Yeah D: [Symmasris]: That was about the most awkward conversation Ive ever seen started... I need to Screen cap. The XIII HouR: LOL <3 ilu. [Symmasris]: *hugs* you too [Symmasris]: Im just contemplating on putting this on Deviant art.. The XIII HouR: XD /puttingitonLJlikeabrat. [Symmasris]: LJ? The XIII HouR: Live Journal. [Symmasris]: ahh [Symmasris]: Awkward conversations. You havent had one until you've been asked if you are getting a sex change. The XIII HouR: By a girl who plays a guy. [Symmasris]: exactly. post comment

/Caramelldansen. [13 Dec 2009|11:06pm] de9 I'm tired, kids. x_x ....And somehow I've managed to pick up yet ANOTHER stalker. This time I didn't even remotely TRY to talk to her. I tried ignoring her. And walking away... And now she's found me ingame. X_x 15 comments|post comment

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